While surfing on the net, looking for some nice quotes, I came across one which touched me by its simplicity in expressing something I have been wanting to put into words for a while now.

“It’s so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it’s not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it…. In our hands.” –Jaka

There are always big talks about love. I am referring to the romantic kind of love here. The other person who is supposed to make you feel great and happy. The other meaningful soul, the one with whom you feel whole. Some people have experienced the *real* thing. Others say they are still waiting for the *right* one to come along. Also, there are others who say they *don’t believe* in that forever kind of love. Yet, others will say love break hearts, causes tears and isn’t worth it. All in all, we all really think about love and talk about love and sometimes even yearn for it.

All that of course is easy. One can sit down and imagine how the *perfect* love is, right? I do it myself loads of time. Others can blab for hours about their different experiences. And we all want to be loved. Anyone who denies that is a *fool*. But as the quote carries on, it is not always easy to recognise love. How does that happen? Why can’t we see it? It says in the quote, “even when we hold it in our hands”… Isn’t that totally crazy? Why can’t we recognise the one person who is supposed to love us truly? The *One*?

We all know how many love stories end so bitterly. Why? This is where I think this quote is totally true. We can’t recognise the real thing. We fancy ourselves in love,and we go overboard and are so happy… but when that phase is over, what remains? bitterness? anger? *nothing?*

In my personal opinion, true love is what remains after that surging fire you feel at first dies away…What remains after that utter happiness we think no one can destroy…love is what remains after the first intoxications, addictions. Many couples break up because they lose that *special* feeling, right?

There is a big difference, I think, between being *in love* and to simply *love*. Being in love fades away after some time. Loving someone stays forever. That is why quotes like the one I have mentioned here exist. Those people who have said it must have seen it or experienced it. It wasn’t said just to be famous, hmm?

So, if after the sweet madness of being in love is over and you find out, there is nothing left except frustration, anger and bitterness, tell yourself it was not the real thing. Love is not supposed to be like that. You simply had a terrible attraction and now it is over.

Love is finding out, after that sweet madness I mentioned, that you are so into each other that you cannot imagine your life without one another. You see in the other person a part of your true self. You simply *complete* each other. It is about everything *after*.

Those who have found that know real happiness I suppose. Some people keep looking for it and still fail to recognise it. There are also those who don’t look for it, but who recognised it and do not do anything about it…they simply let it go…complex hmm? because they are scared about the *intensity*? of the *dependence?* of the *disbelief*? I for one can hardly know!

Bottom line I say love is a beautiful thing…another quote goes by saying: “Love is the beauty of the soul.” It is *truly*.

“It is a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life…” Avril Lavigne - I’m with you

The night was cold indeed and I was kind of taking a trip down memory lane. It is becoming one of my favorite places. I guess when you have nothing to do and when you cannot find sleep, your mind has a way of falling back to the past or fast forwarding into the future. Well, it happens like that for me. The past it is this time and I am trying to figure out this life. Basically, going through what I have achieved in the past, thing I can say I am proud of…and also others that I am not very proud of. One thing I can say though is that everything happens for a reason and based on the choices I have made at different stages of my life. My *DeStInY*

Ok, some people do not believe in Destiny, that life is preordained. Destiny was, is and always be a topic full of enigmas. Who really understands it properly? Different religions have different say on the matter. Many wise people have studied it but they each have their own explanation.

For me, our destiny is shaped by our *choices*. In life, we always have alternatives: We can “yes” and we can say “No”. We know when something is “good” and when something is “bad”. Life is preordained yes, but Man have what we call the *free will*, or the *power to choose*. When we are just children, our parents always took decisions for us and chose in our place. This is because they know what’s good for us then. But gradually, We are also taught what is right and what is wrong. That is the way it has to be. Come adolescence, we are allowed to take some decisions on our own because it is believed that we can distinguish between what is good and what is bad for us. Above Eighteen, we become accountable for our actions. At that age, we are mature enough to act in the correct way. To lead our life like responsible individuals. That is the “normal” way things should be. In a perfect world. But this world is not perfect and not everyone gets to lead a “normal” life. But let us come to our choices. Everyday we are faced with those. And every choice we make has a consequence. The consequence can be something that happens to us, something we obtain, something we feel, and the like. And those consequences can affect other people’s life. What do you choose? Sometimes it is complex. You may ask others for advice but in the end, the final decision is yours to make. From there, you have other choices to make and so on. So, for me life is full of choices and alternatives. More often than not, the choices are not obvious and they may not be apparent but with time, you will always find it.

Also, it can happen when you don’t have any choice but to do one specific thing, right? But that too is a result of a previous choice. I hence call a situation of no choice a consequence. Moreover, very often, we choose without really realising it. Here, maybe our personality plays a role. We choose based on what we like best for example. But it all comes down to choices. There is an outcome for everything and those outcomes, well, they are controlled by a *Greater Power*. I have no other way of explaining that. For instance, why something is the consequence of a certain action? That is what is preordained. The law of nature…

The title of this post is pretty vague, I know, but I don’t know how else to put it. But keep reading and I hope you will get what I am trying to say here.

Late last night, while lying in bed, waiting for sleep to take over, I was remembering my first year at Uni and how things have evolved. And mostly, I was thinking of the number of different people I met there. And how these people interacted with each other. One thing that struck me in particular, was how they “used” each other. In fact, that word “used” is what got me confused. There should be a clear difference between “using” and “needing” someone right?

Has it ever occurred to you that you seem to turn to someone in particular when you have a specific problem to solve? Like you seem to think that only he or she can help you out but that at the same time you know that if you look harder, you can solve the issue yourself or someone else can do it? why *that* someone alone? Is it because you know that he or she *IS* going to be there and would help you out if you just ask? has that ever occurred to you? If yes then, has it ever occurred to you, that when you don’t have any problem that person can solve, you have nothing to say to them? How can that be? One minute you may be “needing” that person, and the minute the need “satisfied”, you are done with them? So my question here is that: do we need that person or are we using that person?

Now, I would like to say what I understand by “needing” and “using” someone. Needing involves both persons completely. It is like you have them in your life because they are important to you and that you are important to them. There is a connection on the emotional level. Both are there for each other. When you have a problem, you go to them because in your head, you know that they will do their best to help you out and you are grateful to them. And you know, you will show it, consciously or not. It runs both ways, that is, when you have helped them too, they’ll show how much it meant to them that you were there. Sometimes it is just a *smile*, a *hug*, but a $real$ one! That is the big difference! $real$ and yeah, that person means something to you. You share a relationship. Somehow, he or she brings something in your life that you appreciate. Now, using someone just seems *cold*. It is blunt: you want that person around because they serve a purpose to you. You go to them because they will be some kind of use to you. They will make getting something you want easy to obtain. *That* is all they bring to you. Other than that, you don’t really want to know the person, to share some kind of relationship with them. However, in my opinion, there are people who act like that intentionally and others not. That is the problem I think. Sometimes you do not realise when you are in fact just using someone. You know, for example, if X uses Y, and Y uses X, then it does not matter. Both do the same to each other, so they kind of cancel each other out. No damage caused. But what if X uses Y, and Y *feels* it? It is like that, Y knows X, and Y wants a more meaningful relationship with X, Y is bound to notice that X is only there when they want something. Like picture this: Y sees X coming from a distance towards him/her. In Y’s head, it goes something like this: “Ah, What does X wants this time?” It hurts, isn’t it? when you find out that you are nothing but a help desk in someone’s life. But before starting to hate that person, keep in mind that he or she might not be realising what they are doing. There is no precise way to know that for sure. At least I do not know any!

What to do then? Last night, some stuffs came to mind:

1. Stop talking to that person. 2. Turn the other way when you see them coming. 3. Flatly refuse to help. 4. Tell them straight up what you feel. 5. 1-4 is wrong!

Come on, someone may be using you, but hey, you don’t necessarily need to feel *used*! Ok, it hurts, yes, but make it stop. Someone hurts you only when you allow it. It is all in your head and a matter of attitude. So, I say, do not stop seeing that person, and continue to do your best to help. Do not look for gratitude in others. Be grateful to yourself that you *could* help. Focus in finding the pride in yourself. Make it all about ***YOU*** and you will be happy!

And yeah, if you think you are among those who have realised that you have used someone unintentionally, put a stop to it. Make amendments! Give yourself a chance to be a better person.

And if you use someone intentionally, you know just how low you are yourself. If you have a conscience, you know the best thing to do. (and I sincerely do not like you, even if I do not know who you are and who you might be using.)

Before signing off, I would like to make a precision. Whatever I am writing here, is from a very very very general point of view. Everyone’s case of “needing or using” ain’t the same. But still, make it all about you…

Hey there bloggers!

It has been a while since I’ve last blogged! Hmm, months in fact! Time does fly by quickly…

On my last post I mentioned how hectic the days were back then. Well, it is all over now. I have completed my final year project and what a stress has that been. Ooof! and not to mention the exams! Guess it is because it is my final year and everything and the tension and worry is kind of more fierce! Anyway, all *that* stress is gone now and another has taken its place. Stress because of results! But duh duh, I am not going to think about that just now!

A little update about me: I’ve turned 22 on the 27th of may. (Yeps Grown up now!) and I am working! (and have to act like a grown up too!) I am a “ingenieur d’etudes” (I have no idea how to say that appropriately in English. :S ) at Astek Mauritius. So basically I am still on the learning process. Understanding what the system is about and how to manage it. I’ve been working for three weeks already and let me tell you, it does not feel like it. But I am enjoying my time there. Ok, not all the time, but hey, for me it is much better than staying at home and doing absolutely nothing, or watch TV, or to go Shopping whenever I feel like it, to sleep till late.. Gosh, do I seem like a big liar here? Duh, I do! Nuh, Seriously, working is great but I do miss the real “holidays”! However, I guess we have reached that point in life where we are not granted “real holidays” anymore. It is time to be a responsible and independent individual. It is time for pay back. All through 18 years, we have been given almost everything ~free~: education, food, cloth, transport and the like. Now, we have to take it upon us to contribute so that others after us enjoy the same “free” stuffs we did. It is time also, for us to take care of our parents. To help them in their old days and to be grateful. Ha! I got a bit side-tracked I think! I was saying we ain’t given “real holidays” anymore, but hey! the week-ends are still here! So for me, Saturday is basically Shopping Day! (I so love that word: shopping shoppi-nnng shooooppp–inng!) I am out nearly all day. Sunday is sleeping till late day and tidying room day. Normally, I am not a big fan of Sundays. :S So ppfftt…

Anyway, feels good to have written down something after such a long time..I kind of forgot how much I enjoy it.

We are nearing the end of the semester at university and I am so overloaded with work. I have tests, which promise to be hard, coming up and a presentation to do as well. I have a deadline to submit my report on analysis for my final year project.

And yes, I am so sleepy!

All in all, no time for blogging these days!

Today, Urv gave me, Gul and Ash a key holder in the shape of a heart! She made one for herself too. Our names written in one heart! So cute! It is a small thing, I know, but it really touches the soul so! It has certainly touched mine! Those girls have come into my life and changed it all the way through. This post is my way of telling them that I will always love them so much and that I’ll be there for them. Their presence in my life, their support, their love, their everything is very important to me! I cannot imagine how it would have been if I never met them. It all seems meant to be…

We have our ups and downs! what to do, ay? life itself is a rollercoaster but I am happy that we are riding it together and I know in my heart that there is one long ride ahead!

We are in fact four hearts beating differently but in perfect harmony! Break one heart and you might just find your face broken!

Love you all always! muaaaaaaah!

There is something that has always caught my attention: people do not know how to accept a compliment. I find myself among those people sometimes. But then I sat and thought about it. It should not be that way. I mean, when someone has congratulated on something you have done or they find something about you that they like, it can only mean that somewhere you have earned that person’s respect and admiration. But it can happen, as it most of the time happens with me, you are so flustered you do not know what to say!

However, after thinking long about it again, there are in fact many small things that one can do in such situations. One can simply say “thank you”! It is the classic thing to do anyway and it does not take a lot to say that now, does it? This helps more when the compliment has caught you off guard. To smile can also do the trick. And besides, you have probably earned it, so enjoy your moment in the spotlight. In addition to that, it saves you from having to say anything! Now, one can also compliment the other person in return! Say something nice about the person who gave you a compliment. One very important thing, in my opinion, is that one has to give credit where credit is due. Sometimes a certain work is done by a group and only some individuals get congratulated for it. In such situations, these individuals must share the compliment with the whole group. This is especially effective if the person giving the compliment was responsible for your success.

Let’s take this on some other aspects. Sometimes, when a person has complimented someone, the latter tends to argue. If argue is the right word here! They just do not agree with the compliment! I do that myself. I realise it is something worthless! Just because I know my accomplishment was not really all that hard or the compliment did not really fit does not mean I have to protest or object to the compliment. I guess then that the best thing to do is to smile, say thanks, and let it go! (Easier said than done? I do not think so! It just takes a little self-control! )

And well, I have observed that it can so happen that when someone has been complimented, they try to fish for more! I think here it is more of a psychological problem or just human nature! Hence beyond my comprehension!

Bottom line I’ll just say that a compliment is something good! So take which ever way you find more gracious!

Gosh, time does go by so fast! I have not blogged for nearly three weeks but it seems longer than that. A lot has been going on and I have been busy. Ramadhan had started and of course, this has taken me out of my usual routine. There have been other stuffs to concentrate on! In addition to all that, studies are getting tougher everyday. My final year project is still on the background study level and my partner and I are supposed to be starting the analysis part soon. I am completely behind in my “multimedia systems” module. In fact, most of the time, I do not understand anything that the lecturer is talking about! and people, that is bad!!! If I do not get serious quick, there is going to be hell to pay! As from tomorrow, I am really going to concentrate. I’ll keep you updated on my progress! For the other modules, it seems I am doing fine! Specially for my IS Advanced class. There are some 127 students in that class and I find it fun! and well interesting too!

And ah yes, my resolutions. Some have worked out fine. I have been late for class only once and that was not my fault! It was for Urvy’s birthday! I had some things to do. I was late only ten minutes anyway. I have been eating more healthily and as for sports, I’ll start seriously after Ramadhan! We had a blast for Urv’s birthday! So happy moments have been spent with friends!

And where friends are concerned, made two and nearly lost one! The story will kind of get personal here and so I can’t really talk about it without their permission! In life we meet some people, some will stay forever, some will stay only for a moment and there are some who make you wish you have never met them! haha!

I got to go now…Keep dropping by! I will try to be more regular!!! Take Care!

Did you know that your heart beats 100,000 times a day?

I personally thought it was much more than that. Really, I do not know why but I have this strange notion that 100,000 times ain’t enough! It seems to me that my heart beats a lot more!

And girls, mind it now when your boyfriends tell you that they think about you with each of their heartbeat. Do not get over your head. They are thinking about you ONLY 100,000 times a day!

Yet another week is over. I wanted to give some feedback on those resolutions I took some three weeks ago. I have not arrived late at any of my lectures. I paid more attention and gave some good answers to questions asked. I specially like my Network Design and Services lecture. I ate more healthily too. I brought my own food everyday and only on Saturday that I went to MIE for its fried noodles. Ash and I played badminton for one hour and my arm was painful for three days! I have not yet started on strengthening my programming skill but I am going to start soon. I am quite taken with my background study for my final year project right now. Every day I am thankful for my friends and we are enjoying all our time together. I have not hated anyone at all. At least no one new! And I still have not learned to be patient. Anyone has some tips?