Marriage and I

wedding proposal

No, I am not married. Neither am I getting married. At least not yet. But I am in that phase in my life where people keep asking me when the ‘big’ event will happen. It is crazy sometimes. The ‘M’ word has to pop up in almost every conversation: family, friends, neighbours, colleagues. It is as if there’s a sign written on my forehead, and as soon as you see my face, that is the first thing you notice! 😦

I know it seems like it is high time it happens to me. I am 26 years old. I have a job I like. I am pretty responsible. I manage OK in the kitchen. I can handle my own. But if it isn’t happening, it just is not! And even if it never happens, it is no big a deal!

I believe in destiny: whatever has been preordained for me will happen, whether I want it or not. I still need to point out that I have nothing against marriage. It is an institution that I respect. It is something that I want to experience for myself. I want the experience to be a beautiful and fulfilling adventure. πŸ™‚ I do not wish to get married just for the sake of getting married, just so people will stop pestering me, just because my age is right or whatever.

Writing this takes me back to when I was 16/17. I used to keep a personal diary then. In case you are wondering, I have burnt it a long time ago. πŸ™‚ Anyway, back then, I wrote in that diary the stuffs I would do when my studies will be over. Marriage was among those stuffs. Admittedly, I had crazy romantic notions then that I do not harbor anymore. It remains though that it is something that I do want. In the years that have passed since, I have learnt and seen for myself that I may sit and spend hours planning my life away, but God has a plan of his own as well. I pray with all my heart that what He has in store for me is far better than I expect. πŸ™‚ {Ameen}

Actually, I honestly believe that when the time is really right, everything else will fall into place. The right guy. The right place. The right situation. Everything will feel just that. Right. It will not matter that I prefer someone who is tall or who works in that particular field. It will not matter where he lives or if he talks funny. πŸ™‚ I do not however have the capacity to say when the time will be right. Only God holds that information and until He decides to let me know about it, I request everyone to just be patient. πŸ˜‰ Myself included.

Besides, marriage is not everything. There are so many single women out there who lead a perfectly good and happy life. So what if I end up being one of them? I will be fine. πŸ™‚ I do not need a ring around my finger to complete the person I am. I absolutely will not be like those women who need a man to be happy. If being unmarried is the best state for me to be, so be it. I will certainly not let myself be disheartened or be depressed. Last I heard, being single is not a deadly disease now, is it? Better be single and happy, than being unhappy ever after!

3 thoughts on “Marriage and I

  1. So you do not plan to have children for the next 5 years. After your thirties if a sudden wish arises to have children you’ll get many complications. Just an advice.

    • I love kids and it would be great to have some of my own. But what am I supposed to do if I cannot find a suitable partner? Be depressed and scream and shout about the unfairness of it all? I am not like that.
      Anyway, my point is, even if I do not get married, and not have kids someday, there are other alternatives to live a good, happy and fulfilling life. Just because I cannot have marriage does not mean I am doomed to live a complicated and sad life.
      If ever I do get married, I’ll give it my best shot. πŸ™‚ Either way, I will be fine.

  2. Seshu says:

    Reading your post is like reading my own thoughts. you are correct in one way. As long as you are not married and if you have a good job, it seems your life is in your hands. But that continues as long as you don’t depend on others for happiness even in thoughts. If your mind is completely busy and obsessed with some work ( like music or scientific research etc), you can go on well singly because you forget time and society in that pleasure for searching truth. But, such a thing is possible only for rarest of rare persons. Even many scientists and philosophers married in life for better living. Psychologically and philosophically there are many complex points regarding this matter which I can’t explain now and one must be bold to know them. And regarding getting a right person is, to be frank, mere luck. Bonds and relations demand adjustability and it does not mean that you have to loose individuality. Finally, what you feel and experience in your life depends upon how you look at it with your method of reasoning !

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